Sunday, December 25, 2011

Holly Hell

Wow. I mean just……wow.

Ok, so Ire and I arrived at our group’s base—called the Mansion—this afternoon.
Er--last afternoon, since it’s 5:30am. I really should describe the Mansion and talk about what happened when I met everyone but……I don’t feel like it right now. I’ll do that after Christmas.

Right now……right now I only want to talk about the Mansion’s Christmas decorations.

I am told Thia was in charge of the decorating. The way she decorated the house can only be described as morbidly festive. The outside of the Mansion is decoration-free, but the inside……. Black candles on the table and fireplace mantel, skulls with red and green lights for eyes, entrails with a string of Christmas lights inside them wrapped around the staircase banister, red internal organs decorating the Christmas tree……
The Christmas tree is essentially a giant stick decorated with various human(?) organs and topped with what I think is a heart. I know it sounds horrible, but somehow Thia managed to make it all look really good.
There’s also skeleton hung from the chandelier with a noose made of Christmas lights, and a wreath attached to a deer skull over every doorframe, but my favorite has to be the complete deer skeleton wearing a jingle bell collar.

Deep down I know I should be grossed-out, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything other than impressed.

It looks like we’ll be having a small feast today. I should try to get some sleep. Merry Christmas everyone.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


So I was finally found today. Not uh……Not quite sure what to make of my fellow teammate here….

After a long day of pick pocketing--addictively fun--and running around town--gotta love parkour--I returned to my hotel room to find a man who looks to be in his early 30s sprawled out on the bed watching Batman. The man has unnaturally bright red hair—obviously dyed—and an unusual fashion sense--black butcher’s apron, black fingerless gloves, dark sunglasses, and an extremely odd scarf-like mask that only covers the bottom half of his face.

When I walked into the room he pulled down his 'mask' and glanced at me. “You the new recruit?”

“Um…. Yes? My name’s Coyote.”

“Fucking finally. Do you know how hard you were to find?”


“Not very. You are however very forgettable.”

“So… DID forget me.”


“You forgot me twi—why do you have a rusty saw?”

He tapped the saw against his boot. “One of my preferred weapons of choice.”

“I’m going to assume your name is Ire.”

He hmmed an affirmative and looked utterly bored. “That a whip?”

“Yeah. Technically it’s called a sjambok.”

It looked like he rolled his eyes then, it was hard to tell because of his glasses. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “kinky” and turned his attention back to the tv.

“So what now? Where’s the rest of the group?”

He lazily swung his saw at me, causing me to step back beyond his reach. “Tv. Watching….”
He ignored me for at least an hour. After a while I gave up on getting any answers and sat down on the couch (as far away from Ire as I could get). Eventually he said that we would leave sometime tomorrow to join up with the rest of the team….group….whichever it is.

I can hear Ire snore as I type this. I would love to get some sleep too, but I suspect that Ire might wake up and kill me in my sleep just for the hell of it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It was pretty nice out yesterday—no snow or rain—so I decided to see if I could make it past the two towns and out of the area. I left my campsite and walked right out of the woods and past the towns without any trouble—but when I turned to go back the air got...........oppressive, somehow. Sort of suffocating. I decided it would be best to wait for my group elsewhere.
So I walked to the next town over (why are there so many small towns around here?), pick pocketed some guys wallet and am now renting a room at some crappy hotel. Apparently I used to be a petty thief or something, because I am suspiciously good at pick pocketing.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

*is beginning to think he has been forgotten*

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I spent the entire day reading VG Cats and Looking for Group.

Monday, November 14, 2011


My real name is not Coyote……….. I don't know what it really is, but I know what its not.

Think my last name starts with “M.” Micky? Myers? Miller? Mahoney? Melker? Mercer?
………Mercer. Sounds familiar. I like it.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I miss my dog. I think it was a german shepherd.

Friday, November 11, 2011

1That blow to the head shook some memories loose. I think I had a dog once.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What’s going on with that phone?

In hindsight, stealing from a possible military officer of unknown origin wasn’t the brightest thing I have ever done.

Did I think they were going to chase me for weeks over a little phone? No. Did they? Yes. Relentless. They were freakin’ relentless.

Word of advice-never try to hide while being chased by irate military officers. They will find you, they will yell at you, and they will hurt you.

I have been running from those two women for how long now? Now, I know what you are thinking. “The big bad proxy can’t handle himself against two girls? How pathetic.” Well, those two girls are armed to the teeth, and I only have my little sjambok--which is a thick African rhino-hide whip, in case you didn’t know. ‘Sides, there is something-off-about the short chick.

They finally caught up to me. I ran out of woods. I ran out of places to run. I panicked and hid in a tube slide in a playground. Stupid-I know. But they didn’t see me hide, and in my panicked state of mind I thought they might run past me. They did not.

The short-and scary-one dragged me from the slide by my feet and threw me to the ground. We then had a… of words. They demanded their phone back-I told them I needed it to get in touch with my allies-the scary one snapped that she did not care-I called her a heartless bitch-we cursed at each other some more-she growled something in a strange language and kicked me in the head-I got all dizzy-and tingly all over, strangely enough.

After the kick to the head I got up and ran while I still could-right into a soccer field. Did not realize there was a game going on. Nearly got run over by a bunch of fourth graders.

Needless to say, they got their stupid phone back.

Yesterday night I wandered into another town and stole a laptop. Should have just done that in the first place.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

So, ah…

It has been awhile now. No one has come by--there is no-one around at all actually, except for those two angry women--so if my group would contact me, that would be great.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Huh, phone.

“If the phone died then how are you blogging?”

Well-I uh, I stole another phone.

After the original phone died I wandered around for a couple of days, looking for someone. Anything. Finally found my way out of the woods and into a small town. Found out where I am. Still no clue how I got here. From what I can remember, I live(d?) in Colorado. This is certainly not Colorado. I’ll ask my allies about it when they find me.

The little town is almost deserted. I only saw two people-a short woman with a strange insignia on her coat and a taller woman dressed in all black. The short woman was definitely military, but the taller woman had a phone……. Me being desperate, I decided to “borrow” her phone so I could get in touch with the rest of my group.

That really pissed them off.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Um, hi. I am a follower of the Tall One-better known as Slenderman. I was recently brought into His service-no idea how that happened, it all gets a tad fuzzy when I try to remember. But that’s ok. I am looking forward to serving under His command and making Him proud.

I am……not sure where I am. You see, I woke up in the woods six days ago and have no idea how I got there. I remember……running from a black dog. I think. Everything is so fuzzy.
Anyway-I woke up in the woods with only my beloved sjambok and an unfamiliar cell phone. The cell had only one contact, so naturally I called it. The person-who refused to give me her name-said that I was supposed to be the newest member of some group or squad or…….whatever. She said the rest of the group would join up with me before the week was out, and to make a blog to help get in contact with them. She also mentioned someone named Ire, but the phone died before she could say anything else.

So I guess I’ll just wait here for them to come get me.