Wednesday, March 7, 2012


I wasn’t planning on posting yet—I’ve been doing the same thing since my last two posts and talking about it over and over again would be boring—but I got yelled at, so here.....

Needless to say, I found some actual blood for my balloons. Probably dog or cat—I broke into a vet’s office and stole a few gallons. They just had it lying around in coolers. Anyway....

Garret is not amused. The first time I hit him, he nearly had a stroke. But then he realized it was only colored water and calmed down, and started to look for me. By that time I was long gone, of course. Jumped off the roof into a pine tree.

He completely freaks out when he gets hit with real blood. It’s sorta fun to watch. He’d take off running for his car, fall down, get hit with another balloon, and then run over his trashcans trying to drive out of the driveway. He’d do that every single time. And I would laugh every single time.

Yeah, I know. I’m despicable.

I got tired of that after a week, so I went back to moving things around in his house. That was a lot of freakin’ work. One day I even hid his fridge in the trees next to his house. His reaction was fun to watch, but I don’t think I’m making much progress here. He’s angry, confused and paranoid, but I don’t think I’ve driven him crazy yet. I think I need to step it up a notch....

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I’m on a roof.

Yep. As soon as this Garret walks outside I’m hitting him with a water balloon filled with red colored water. I need to pick up some actual blood afterwards.

Meantime, let me tell you about my day. I woke up in my crappy hotel room, got ready for the day and ect…. Went out, bought breakfast, went to a place close to Garret’s house, ate breakfast, watched Garret (the man is weird, in a completely boring way), and then left to find a convenience store. Once there I acquired the above referenced items—water balloons and red food coloring—and returned to Garret’s house. Then I grabbed a bunch of rocks from Garret’s driveway and climbed onto his roof. There I spent an hour or so making noise every once in a while. Then I got tired of that and started throwing the rocks at various metal things—mailbox, car, dumpster, ect.—in an attempt to lure Garret out of the house so that I might be able to drench him with a water balloon filled with “blood.” Not my most sinister plan but its cold out, and I’m sure that he’ll be at least a little freaked out—or annoyed.

I’m really just wasting time here while I wait, as you can probably tell.

PS: Sorry Ire. I never check my email. Ever.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

My mission is going smoothly....well....ya know....more or less. I had a bit of call with the police, after Mr. Meijer—who happens to be paranoid—called them yesterday after he noticed that I had relocated—stolen—his lawn ornaments—two flamingos and a gnome. Had to parkour outta there in a hurry.

....Shut up. I’m starting out small. I’ll get more menacing eventually. I have plans.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Mission Start

I’ve done nothing but watch my target’s (Garret’s) TV and rearrange his furniture, as he’s been out on vacation. He’s home now though, and he looks disturbed by the signs of my presence in his home. Tomorrow should be more fun.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


Ao assigned me my first mission…….. Basically, I get to drive my target crazy and turn them into a full-fledged runner. Shouldn’t be too hard.

And I get to try out my new mask…..Thia got it for me. It’s a coyote’s face—no surprises there. But it’s an actual coyote’s face, with fur and everything. I’m not sure how I feel about wearing a coyote face around for days on end…….oh well. I’ll make myself a better mask eventually.

I’m leaving tomorrow.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Target Practice

I swear, the internet at the Mansion is the worst quality ever invented or something. I don’t even…..gah. The internet here sucks, and was(/still is?) down—yet again—for…..I don’t even know how long this time.

Long enough for Ire to notice, and that’s saying something. –Thia

Thia and I are in town, grocery shopping and the like. We are currently at some internet cafĂ©—and until now I did not know such a thing existed. Sad, isn’t it?

Anyways… training is still going well. Thia had the good sense to stop trying to get me to use throwing weapons after I sliced my wrist open. Now we’ve moved onto guns—which I figured would not end well. Happily though, I have not shot myself—or any of his teammates—and am in fact a crack shot with a 9mm Glock. No really. I am. I shot well with all the guns I tried—and yet Thia still won’t let me shoot any of her sniper rifles. :(

My collection of wounds have all but healed now, which I think is strange. I thought it took people longer to get over cracked ribs and lacerations? I could be wrong, though. I don’t know. Could be a proxy thing.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Days 2, 3, and 4

Day 2—

Day two went significantly better than day one. I tried throwing knives some more, but after I almost hit Thia in the leg—while she was standing behind me—she took the knives away and gave me a tomahawk. I did much better with the tomahawk, probably because it’s heavier and easier to throw. I really like this weapon, but throwing it hurts my ribs.

Day 3—

Practiced with the tomahawk until my ribs hurt, and then switched over to knives. They were bigger and heavier than the other ones, but I still couldn’t hit with them. Thia can’t leave well enough alone.

Day 4—

Throwing stars are evil. Found out the Mansion has its own medical room. I’m banned from throwing anything besides the tomahawk.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Weapons Training: Day 1

Turns out the Mansion has this really nice shooting/archery range.


Thia walked in, wearing that black shirt with the word “No” on it that she usually wears and looking annoyed.

“So here’s how this is going to go. We have a vast array of weapon at our disposal and you,” she pointed at me in a dramatic fashion, “will be trained to use all of them. You don’t have to be good at everything, but you will learn how to use everything. Got it?”

I nodded.

“Great. Today you shall be using,” she whipped her hand forward and a knife buried itself into the wall three centimeters from my head, “throwing knives. Have at it.”

It pretty much went downhill from there. I can’t throw a knife to save my life (hah). Or, to be more accurate, I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a throwing knife.

First Impressions

*post was meant to go up yesterday, but it never did, for some reason*

I started weapons training today. It was quite the experience, but more about that later. Ao and Thia had planned to start Monday, but then part of the roof caved in and it started raining… was a huge mess. So I spent the week helping clean up the water and fixing the roof—as much as I could, anyway. Cracked ribs and all.

And I just realized that I never said anything about the group and I first meeting, so----

The woods were completely silent as Ire and I walked up the path. As soon as we got to the clearing were the Mansion is located, I noticed a small red dot centered between Ire’s eyes.

“Um, Ire?!”

“That’s just Thia being her usual bitchy self. Ignore it.” He lifted his hand and flipped off the large tower that’s completely separate from the rest of the Mansion. Thia shot a patch of dead grass an inch from Ire’s foot in response. “Bitch.”

The Mansion…..might have been a mansion at one time that got turned into a military base and got left to rot for fifteen years. Ire had to throw his shoulder into the front door to get it to open. “Behold,” Ire said dryly and waved his arm at the whole of the main floor. The Mansion looks just as shabby inside as it does outside.

Ire then walked off with a muttered “Laterz” and left me fidgeting by the front door. Ire is much nicer over the internet than he is in person, by the way. Then Skoll appeared out of freaking nowhere and stared me down. Skoll…… He doesn’t have a mask, but he does have bright yellow eyes that seem to peer into your soul. I stay away from him as much as possible.

Then Thia came in the front door—probably saving me from being eaten by Skoll—and gave me a tour of the Mansion. The Mansion is huge, and though it’s very rundown, it’s also structurally sound—except for parts of the roof and the floor in a couple rooms. Thia is pretty nice—condescending, but still nice--mostly. I haven’t seen her mask yet.

After the tour Thia showed me to Ao’s office/living quarters. Ao is…..hard to describe. She’s intimidating, and a little menacing, but friendly-ish. She’s….a little cold, and cat-like. She’s like a icy feline. Like a leopard—like a snow leopard! There we go. She’s kind of like a snow leopard. Kind of. I don’t know. I ramble. Her mask is freaking awesome though. It covers the lower half of her face and her neck and it’s shaped like a pair of monstrous jaws, complete with teeth.

As soon as we opened the door, she sprang up from her couch, stalking over to us. “Greetings, Coyote. As you may have guessed, I am Ao. Again, my apologies for leaving you on your own for so long." She loomed over me. “You have amnesia, I take it?” Thoroughly intimidated, I nodded. “Pity. It’s so much easier to train someone who already knows what they’re good at, even to a small extent. I trust you’ve met everyone? Excellent. Shall we go to dinner?”

And then we went down and had dinner, where Skoll thankfully ignored me, Thia fought with Ire, and Ao talked to me and kept an eye on Thia and Ire at the same time. It was nice.

Sunday, January 8, 2012


Our internet has been down, much to everyone’s annoyance. Ire left on a mission a couple days ago, and I’ve been training with Ao.

Training is going well—I think. Ao has been teaching me hand-to-hand combat that doesn’t seem to be any one particular style. So basically…….Ao has been kicking the living crap out of me for, like, three days straight. I have sooooo many bruises—plus some cracked ribs--but I’m mostly ok and I think I got the basic stuff down.